The phrase “Friends help you move but real friends help move bodies” is an apt phrase.
Some people wanted to know what I expect of a friend. It really is a simple thing. I expect my friends to keep their promises, to put forth the same effort that I do. To me a person’s word is the most important thing that they have. When they lose that, when they can’t keep even the most basic of promises then they are no longer friends.
A friend is someone who you can turn to in a time of need. A friend is someone who has your back no matter what. A friend is someone who when the world is crashing around you, holds an umbrella and comments on the “extremely weird weather” and can make you laugh or help change your perspective.
A friend is someone who will answer the phone when called upon. A friend is someone who will rush over in the case of an emergency or make time to be there for you when you need a listening ear. A friend is someone who listens, understands, cares, and most importantly pays attention. A friend shows they are a friend by the little things they do.
Friendship to me is about trust and understanding. It is about camaraderie and a bond that goes beyond time and space. It is a committment to be greater than yourself and it is a fellowship that stands the test of time. It is a growing and learning experience that helps you reach the limits you put upon yourself and move past it. Because, real friends help you grow.
Friendship to me is about learning. A real friend will tell you what you have done wrong, and help you change, repair, understand, and grow. Give you the understanding and where possible the tools needed to make those changes. They encourage you to do better, to achieve your goals, to become something brighter. But they do NOT push you, the rest of it is up to you.
Friendship to me is about give and take. A real friend will give back what they get. If they are called upon they will hold to that oath of friendship. They will choose their friends because when it’s all said and done, their friends.. Their REAL friends will be there for them forever. A true friend is someone who realizes that the bond is just as strong as any other, and sometimes stronger then the bond of family. Because you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends.
Friendship to me is about love. In all aspects it truly is about learning to love unconditionally. Your family you are born with and you love them, but friendship prepares you and teaches you about real love. Real friends, LOVE their friends and know how to give. Real friends are capable of seeing into the darkness and helping bring out the light. Real friends recognize when their friends are in trouble and run to the rescue. Real friends are there whether you’re single or in a relationship. They’re the ones holding the pieces together when you fall apart, because they know and understand you. They’re the ones lifting you up when you fall down and they’re the ones who you can come to when everything else in your life is falling apart. They are your support system. Every bit as much as family.
Friendship to me is about compassion, kindness, real sharing. It’s about learning to understand another’s perspective on life and helping them see yours. It is about being there through both the good and the bad times. Realizing we all have flaws and working through them and being there when the pieces fall. It’s also about letting them fall down when they need to learn. A real friend knows when its the right time.
Friendship is not a game to be played and those who think that friendship is a “job” or something else along those lines. I have no time for.
Finally to me, when you tell someone that you are their friend, you are making a committment. A committment to do all the things that I described up there.
Now there are distinctions in the friendship line. There are of course “friends” these are the people who are around for the parties but never there for the cleanup and aren’t exactly interested in the being there. That type of “friend” is really more of an acquaintance. They are people who you know, hang out with and maybe even like but aren’t exactly the kind of people who you feel capable of relying on. Then there are the “real friends” these are the people I spoke of above.
Finally there are “best friends”.
The best friend, are the ones who ,above all else are the person whom you should be most able to rely on. Whenever they say they will do something their word should be the one which you trust. They are the ones in the thick of it. They are the ones who hold your hand when you’re sick, are your advocate when you’re in a fight and the one who knows you the best.
Anyone who accepts the call of a “best friend” is stepping into a realm of complete trust. They are the counselor, they are the one to bounce ideas off of. They are a trusted adviser. They are the one who will help you through whatever difficulties life throws at you because they are the one who “knows you best” and when you are “best friends” the street goes both ways. A best friend is like family, they are dear and beloved because of this.
Anyone who is a best friend should and always would be there for their “best friend” even if they disagree. They will stand up and be counted, be there no matter what and have their best friends back. They are the one who is leading the charge, they are the one you can count on to call you down when you’re making a mistake. They are the one who will, no matter what, have your best interests at heart. These are the “siblings” in the “created family” they are the ones who above all else you can turn to. A best friend is more then a “real friend” they are a true friend and are worth their weight in gold.
These are of course MY definitions of friendship and others have their own interpretation of what a friend is. For those whose definitions are different, they’re welcome to their choices and their beliefs.
As I said previously, we can’t choose our family but we DO choose our friends. We also choose what qualities we most look for in that category. People are of course welcome to disagree or even believe that my qualifications for “friendship” are too hard and those who do are quite welcome to not be my “friends”. They can be acquaintances and I can be quite happy not ever relying on them. To me, forever, friendship is a very special bond and I will only have that bond with the people who understand what I mean when I use the word “friend”.
🫰🫖 JRT
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