Love is a concept so many of us romanticize, yet I find myself stepping back, questioning the whirlwind notions of love that are sold to us. Love at first sight? Quick love? Loving someone you’ve never even met? These ideas feel hollow to me, more fantasy than reality, more about projection than connection.
I don’t believe in love that isn’t built and earned. True love, to me, isn’t something that just happens. It’s something that grows through shared experiences, understanding, and effort. The kind of love I want can’t exist without a foundation. It requires trust, patience, and the slow, steady work of getting to know another person—not just who they seem to be, but who they are.
Online connections are a perfect example of this. I absolutely believe in the potential of meeting someone online. Chemistry can spark there; conversations can be deep and meaningful. But falling in love with someone you’ve never met? That’s not love—that’s an idealized version of them, shaped by the parts of ourselves we want to see reflected back. It’s easy to mistake infatuation for love when we’re dealing with profiles, texts, and curated personas. Love can’t thrive in a space that isn’t real, where we’re not showing up as our full selves.
Love is a commitment. It’s not butterflies in the stomach or the thrill of someone new. It’s a choice—a big one—and one I’m in no rush to make. My next relationship won’t be based on fleeting attraction or love bombing. It will be built, slowly and intentionally, on a foundation of friendship. Friendship that fosters trust, respect, and mutual understanding.
I want a love that feels like a partnership, not a performance. A love that is steady, not volatile. And that’s why I’ll never mistake infatuation for love. I’m patient enough to wait for something real, something that’s truly worth the time and effort it takes to build. Anything less isn’t love—it’s just a distraction.
So, to those who believe in instant connections and fairy-tale love stories, I respect your optimism, but I’ll stick with my skepticism. Love, for me, will always be something earned, not given.
🫰🫂🫖 - JRT
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