For years, I used to say, "I'm grateful for the pain everyone in my life caused me because I wouldn't be who I am today without it." I truly believed that. I thought that was the right way to look at things—to find meaning in the suffering, to assign gratitude to the hardships. But now, as I reflect with deeper understanding, I see how flawed that mindset was. I don't fault myself for believing it then; I only knew what I knew. But I know better now, and I honor my growth by correcting myself.
I am not grateful for the pain. I am not grateful for the people who hurt me. The struggles, the heartbreak, the betrayals—they were not gifts. They were wounds, inflicted by people who made choices. And I refuse to give them credit for the person I have become.
Instead, I am grateful for myself.
I am grateful for my endurance, for the way I picked myself up time and time again when life knocked me down. I am grateful for the resilience I cultivated in the process of healing. I am grateful for the wisdom, the strength, the clarity that emerged—not from the pain itself, but from my response to it.
The pain didn't shape me. I shaped myself in the aftermath.
It was my courage that carried me through the darkest moments. It was my determination that refused to let pain define me. It was my ability to learn, to grow, to rise, that made me who I am today. I give credit where credit is due—to the warrior in me who fought to heal, to the nurturer in me who showed myself love, to the survivor in me who chose to keep going even when it hurt.
This shift in perspective is powerful. It removes the focus from those who inflicted harm and places it where it belongs—on me. This isn't about denying the past or pretending it didn't shape my journey. It's about reclaiming my narrative and recognizing that I am the hero of my own story.
So, let me say it clearly, for myself and for anyone else who needs to hear it: Never be grateful for the person who caused you pain. Be grateful for the person you became in spite of it. The strength, the wisdom, the lessons—those belong to you. And you deserve every bit of the credit.
🫰🫂🫖 JRT
🎨Art Credit: Raven Shaolin Bluefeather
Add comment
Comments