There was a time in my life when I lived with endless expectations—of myself, of others, of the world. I expected people to do the right thing, to show up, to value me the way I valued them. I expected life to reward my efforts and my heart, as if fairness was a guarantee. But life has a way of teaching you the hard truths. Expectations, no matter how well-intentioned, often lead to disappointment. Over time, I realized it wasn’t enough to hope people would meet me halfway. It became clear that what I needed wasn’t expectations but requirements.
My requirements are simple but firm, and they are non-negotiable. They are the foundation for the life I’ve worked so hard to build, ensuring that my peace and well-being remain intact. First and foremost, respect my time. Time is the most precious resource we have, something we can never get back once it’s gone. I’ve spent too much of my life giving my time to people who didn’t value it—people who took it for granted, wasted it, or dismissed it entirely. Now, I demand that anyone in my life honors my time as much as I honor theirs. Whether it’s a conversation, a commitment, or simply showing up when promised, valuing time is a reflection of respect, and I won’t accept anything less.
Match my effort. I’ve learned the hard way that relationships cannot survive if only one person is doing the work. Whether it’s a friendship, a romantic connection, or even family dynamics, the energy I give should be returned in kind. Too often, I found myself drained because I kept pouring love, care, and support into people who couldn’t or wouldn’t do the same for me. Reciprocity isn’t just nice—it’s essential. It tells me that I’m not alone in this, that the other person values the connection as much as I do, and that they’re willing to meet me halfway.
Keep your word. There’s nothing more frustrating or hurtful than broken promises. Words mean nothing without action, and I’ve lived through enough disappointments to know how damaging empty commitments can be. When you make a promise, it should mean something. Follow through, because it’s not just about the action—it’s about trust. Your word reflects your integrity, and without it, there’s no foundation for any meaningful relationship.
Always be honest. Honesty is one of the most vital pillars of any connection. Lies, half-truths, or even avoidance have no place in my life anymore. I’ve experienced the destruction dishonesty can cause, the way it undermines trust and creates cracks in what should have been solid relationships. I understand that honesty isn’t always easy—it can be uncomfortable, and sometimes it hurts. But I would rather deal with the truth, no matter how difficult, than live in the shadow of deceit. Honesty is a form of respect, a way of saying, “I value you enough to be real with you.”
Stay consistent. Consistency is where trust lives. It’s not enough to show up once or twice with good intentions. I need to know that the people in my life are reliable, that their words and actions align over time. Inconsistency creates chaos, and I’ve had enough of that in my past. I don’t need grand gestures or constant reassurance—I just need steadiness. I need to know that when you say you’ll be there, you’ll show up, and that your behavior doesn’t fluctuate with your mood or convenience.
These requirements aren’t about being demanding or unkind. They’re about protecting myself, about ensuring that the life I’ve rebuilt after so much hardship isn’t disrupted by people who can’t meet the bare minimum of respect, effort, and care. They are about creating relationships and environments that align with the peace and stability I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I refuse to let anyone diminish my worth or compromise my well-being.
These requirements didn’t come from nowhere—they come from my story, a story filled with broken pieces, terrible choices, and ugly truths. My life hasn’t been a neatly wrapped package of success and happiness. I’ve made mistakes that left scars, trusted people who betrayed me, and stayed in situations that drained me. I’ve lived through moments that felt like they would break me entirely.
But my story isn’t just one of brokenness. It’s a story of resilience, of a major comeback that I never thought I’d be capable of. Those broken pieces didn’t destroy me; they reshaped me. Those terrible choices taught me lessons I’ll never forget. Those ugly truths forced me to confront who I was and decide who I wanted to be. I’ve fought my way to a place of peace, a peace that now lives in my soul and anchors me every day. I’ve found grace along the way, a grace that saved me when I didn’t think I deserved it, a grace that reminds me I’m worthy of love, forgiveness, and second chances.
I share this not as a declaration of strength but as a reminder to anyone who might be walking a similar road. Let go of expectations that leave you disappointed, and set the standards you deserve. Know that your worth is not tied to what others think of you, and you are not obligated to lower your boundaries to make someone else comfortable. Your story, no matter how broken it feels, still holds the potential for beauty, growth, and redemption.
I’ve walked through fire to get to where I am, and I’ll never go back. My peace is mine, and I’ll protect it at all costs. You deserve the same. Keep going, keep growing, and never settle for anything less than what honors the life you’re building. You are worthy of the respect, love, and consistency you require.
🫰💟🫖 JRT
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