Many of us carry emotional trauma from previous relationships, often without realizing how deeply it affects us. These unresolved wounds can manifest in new connections as projection, defensiveness, or an inability to fully trust. We end up dragging our emotional baggage into relationships, unintentionally straining even the strongest partnerships.
That’s why I’ve chosen to stay single for so long.
It’s not because I don’t want love or companionship. Far from it. But I’ve learned that rushing into a new connection without addressing the past only sets the stage for history to repeat itself. And I’m not interested in perpetuating cycles of pain—neither for myself nor anyone I might care about.
Being single has been an act of self-preservation, but also one of self-awareness. It’s a conscious decision to focus on my own healing, to confront the emotions I’ve buried, and to better understand who I am when I’m not wrapped up in someone else. This time alone hasn’t been easy, but it has been transformative.
In the past, I might have settled for less than I deserved—something safe, convenient, or just “good enough.” But not anymore. I’m holding out for fireworks, for romance, for the kind of love that feels both healthy and electric. I want a love built on mutual respect and shared dreams, not just compatibility or convenience. And I know I can only recognize that kind of love once I’ve healed and become whole myself.
I don’t know when I’ll feel ready to change my relationship status. Maybe soon. Maybe not. What I do know is that when the time comes, I won’t settle. I’ll bring my whole self into a relationship and only invest in something that reflects the love and effort I’ve worked so hard to give myself.
For now, I’m focused on becoming the person I want to share with someone else. That’s the kind of love I’m waiting for—and it will be worth every moment of this journey.
🫰🫂🫖 -JustRealTea
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Very well written. :)